I just found out that I've got premiere tickets to watch "Lord of the Rings III" on Wednesday, 17th! That's 1 day earlier than my online booking tickets on the 18th! That's also 2 ticket price cheaper! So much for the big rush to pre-purchase tickets... it seems that the online booking trend for opening days always seem to fall short. The other incident I recalled was "Star Wars Episode I" (I think). Unless it's a world wide opening such as Matrix...
I haven't decided what I might do with the Wednesday tickets as yet... seems like I am more likely go with the original plan.
In Spirit of the Ring... here's a couple of hilarious Ring Spoofs!
LOTR by CNN
Ringbearers still at large
Mordor (CNN) - Reports from the field have just arrived that the notorious group of ringbearers known mysteriously only as "the nine" were spotted by a band of orcs entering the terroist safe haven known as "Lothlorien" several days ago. The Mordor State Department issued an official proclamation today that the group were known to be armed and dangereous and had already caused the death of many orcs in the region as well as the notorious brutal murder of a high ranking Balrog previously resif\ding in Moria. They warn that any concerned citizens were to contact the Mordor Foriegn affairs office immediately with information as to the whereabouts of these fugitives and to not try and confront them themselves.
"We will act in our utmost to bring these terroists to justice" President Sauron declared today. "These terroists are attacking our way of life, our culture and the way we live. The world must know that the collected will of the dark lords minions will be strong and resolute."
First detected in the town of Bree in the north of middle Earth, these terroists wasted no time in coldly taking the lives of all nine Ringwraith Agents when it was discovered that they were on a plot to topple Mordor. It is believed that the group is composed of primarily hobbits backed up by support from a wide variety of races including dwaves, elves humans and a mysterious backer only known as "Mithrander".
"I must stress, Hobbits are a primarily peace loving race" President Sauron warned today after a spate of hate attacks against hobbit dwellings. "These hobbits are extremists, fundamentalists, they do not speak for hobbit kind".
Agents also believe that these terroists have strong links to the group that assasinated the Foriegn Diplomat, Smaug, earlier this age. If so, it would explain the impressive array of mythical weapons that the group has acquired.
So far, the terroist group has been utilizing safe houses in elvish country to evade capture and have slipped passed even the most stringent defences the Dark Lord has set in place. Residents are afraid for their children and people have stopped going out at night. "How am I going to let my kids go out and torture humans if I know that theres a group of orc killers roaming the countryside" a concerend mother said today".
Experts believe that, if these rogues are not brought to justice, a rash of copy cat attacks will follow and severely hurt the economy.
-- written by CNN correspondant, Saurman
LOTR by Seinfeld
Seinfeld Episode 144: "The Ring":
So anyway my uncle gives me this ring of power and I can't even recharge my cell phone with it. What's up with that?
"Don't tell me you lost the ring George."
"I had it a minute ago. I must have left it in that restaraunt."
"No Rings for you," cried the Soup Nazgul.
"This guy who wants me to get rid of the ring is named Gandalf. Have you ever met anybody named Gandalf? What's up with that?
The Council of Elrond:
"Sauron created the ring of power in the year...yadda, yadda, addax... and that's how Frodo here got it."
Why didn't Sarong make a spare ring? What's up with that?
LOTR by Eminem
Lord of the Rings-Eminem
Do you know what it's like to be given a quest
To be told that my best is a jest in the mess of a world my parents confessed?
To be told that I'm going to fail no matter what I do
That everything's gonna go black
To be given a ring that my uncle's addicted to like smack?
A ring he won't let go
`It's mine,' Bilbo says, `just let go, Frodo,'
`F**k you,' I say, `You know yo flow is blow, that ring ain't no f**king memento.'
My man Gandalf comes in and lays down the law
Oh no motherf**king Bilbo sees his flaw
'Take this thing,' he says to Gan, and hands it over to the man
'Now it's been given,' he says to him, 'given and now I'm going to Rivendell.'
`Rivendell, hell," Gandalf says, 'elves run that place like some f**kin' jail cell, you do well to go to a Deep of Helm's,' he said.
`I'm going to Rivendell,' Bilbo said. `I'm sorry Gandalf but I'm going. Now take that f**king ring before it blings and f**king makes me cry like some f**king halfling.'
LOTR by Tarantino
Excerpt from 'Pulp Fellowship' by Tarantino (please excuse the length)
2. EXT. HORSE DRAWN WAGON (MOVING) - MORNING
A rickety Horse Drawn Wagon creaks down the dusty back roads of the Shire. On the drivers board are two people-- one a Wizard, the other a Hobbit - the wizard wearing Homespun Robes and a pointy hat, the Hobbit standard Hobbit clothes, with a thin tie. Their names are Frodo (Hobbit) and Gandalf (Wizard). Gandalf holds the reigns.
FRODO
That did it, man -- I'm f**kin' goin', that's all there is to it.
GANDALF
You'll most certainly enjoy it. But You know what the funniest thing about Gondor is?
FRODO
What?
GANDALF
It is the small differences. Many the same things we have here, they have also there, but there they are somewhat different.
FRODO
How so?
GANDALF
Well, in Rohan, you can buy Pipeweed at a theatre. And I don't mean in a rolling paper either. They give you a pipe full of weed, like in a guest in your parlour!
In Minas Tirith, you can buy weed at Denethor's. Also, you know what they call a Long Bottom Leaf in Gondor?
FRODO
They don't call it a Long Bottom Leaf?
GANDALF
No, they have no sense of the Shire there, they wouldn't know what the f**k a 'Long Bottom Leaf' is.
FRODO
What'd they call it?
GANDALF
Sweet Galenas.
FRODO
(repeating) Sweet Galenas... What'd they call Silver Star?
GANDALF
Silver star remains Silver Star, but they call it the 'King's' Silver Star.
FRODO
What do they call Old Toby?
GANDALF
I know not, I could not find Old Toby. But you know what they put on Mushrooms in Gondor instead of Bacon?
FRODO
What?
GANDALF
Mutton.
FRODO
Goddamn!
I haven't decided what I might do with the Wednesday tickets as yet... seems like I am more likely go with the original plan.
In Spirit of the Ring... here's a couple of hilarious Ring Spoofs!
LOTR by CNN
Ringbearers still at large
Mordor (CNN) - Reports from the field have just arrived that the notorious group of ringbearers known mysteriously only as "the nine" were spotted by a band of orcs entering the terroist safe haven known as "Lothlorien" several days ago. The Mordor State Department issued an official proclamation today that the group were known to be armed and dangereous and had already caused the death of many orcs in the region as well as the notorious brutal murder of a high ranking Balrog previously resif\ding in Moria. They warn that any concerned citizens were to contact the Mordor Foriegn affairs office immediately with information as to the whereabouts of these fugitives and to not try and confront them themselves.
"We will act in our utmost to bring these terroists to justice" President Sauron declared today. "These terroists are attacking our way of life, our culture and the way we live. The world must know that the collected will of the dark lords minions will be strong and resolute."
First detected in the town of Bree in the north of middle Earth, these terroists wasted no time in coldly taking the lives of all nine Ringwraith Agents when it was discovered that they were on a plot to topple Mordor. It is believed that the group is composed of primarily hobbits backed up by support from a wide variety of races including dwaves, elves humans and a mysterious backer only known as "Mithrander".
"I must stress, Hobbits are a primarily peace loving race" President Sauron warned today after a spate of hate attacks against hobbit dwellings. "These hobbits are extremists, fundamentalists, they do not speak for hobbit kind".
Agents also believe that these terroists have strong links to the group that assasinated the Foriegn Diplomat, Smaug, earlier this age. If so, it would explain the impressive array of mythical weapons that the group has acquired.
So far, the terroist group has been utilizing safe houses in elvish country to evade capture and have slipped passed even the most stringent defences the Dark Lord has set in place. Residents are afraid for their children and people have stopped going out at night. "How am I going to let my kids go out and torture humans if I know that theres a group of orc killers roaming the countryside" a concerend mother said today".
Experts believe that, if these rogues are not brought to justice, a rash of copy cat attacks will follow and severely hurt the economy.
-- written by CNN correspondant, Saurman
LOTR by Seinfeld
Seinfeld Episode 144: "The Ring":
So anyway my uncle gives me this ring of power and I can't even recharge my cell phone with it. What's up with that?
"Don't tell me you lost the ring George."
"I had it a minute ago. I must have left it in that restaraunt."
"No Rings for you," cried the Soup Nazgul.
"This guy who wants me to get rid of the ring is named Gandalf. Have you ever met anybody named Gandalf? What's up with that?
The Council of Elrond:
"Sauron created the ring of power in the year...yadda, yadda, addax... and that's how Frodo here got it."
Why didn't Sarong make a spare ring? What's up with that?
LOTR by Eminem
Lord of the Rings-Eminem
Do you know what it's like to be given a quest
To be told that my best is a jest in the mess of a world my parents confessed?
To be told that I'm going to fail no matter what I do
That everything's gonna go black
To be given a ring that my uncle's addicted to like smack?
A ring he won't let go
`It's mine,' Bilbo says, `just let go, Frodo,'
`F**k you,' I say, `You know yo flow is blow, that ring ain't no f**king memento.'
My man Gandalf comes in and lays down the law
Oh no motherf**king Bilbo sees his flaw
'Take this thing,' he says to Gan, and hands it over to the man
'Now it's been given,' he says to him, 'given and now I'm going to Rivendell.'
`Rivendell, hell," Gandalf says, 'elves run that place like some f**kin' jail cell, you do well to go to a Deep of Helm's,' he said.
`I'm going to Rivendell,' Bilbo said. `I'm sorry Gandalf but I'm going. Now take that f**king ring before it blings and f**king makes me cry like some f**king halfling.'
LOTR by Tarantino
Excerpt from 'Pulp Fellowship' by Tarantino (please excuse the length)
2. EXT. HORSE DRAWN WAGON (MOVING) - MORNING
A rickety Horse Drawn Wagon creaks down the dusty back roads of the Shire. On the drivers board are two people-- one a Wizard, the other a Hobbit - the wizard wearing Homespun Robes and a pointy hat, the Hobbit standard Hobbit clothes, with a thin tie. Their names are Frodo (Hobbit) and Gandalf (Wizard). Gandalf holds the reigns.
FRODO
That did it, man -- I'm f**kin' goin', that's all there is to it.
GANDALF
You'll most certainly enjoy it. But You know what the funniest thing about Gondor is?
FRODO
What?
GANDALF
It is the small differences. Many the same things we have here, they have also there, but there they are somewhat different.
FRODO
How so?
GANDALF
Well, in Rohan, you can buy Pipeweed at a theatre. And I don't mean in a rolling paper either. They give you a pipe full of weed, like in a guest in your parlour!
In Minas Tirith, you can buy weed at Denethor's. Also, you know what they call a Long Bottom Leaf in Gondor?
FRODO
They don't call it a Long Bottom Leaf?
GANDALF
No, they have no sense of the Shire there, they wouldn't know what the f**k a 'Long Bottom Leaf' is.
FRODO
What'd they call it?
GANDALF
Sweet Galenas.
FRODO
(repeating) Sweet Galenas... What'd they call Silver Star?
GANDALF
Silver star remains Silver Star, but they call it the 'King's' Silver Star.
FRODO
What do they call Old Toby?
GANDALF
I know not, I could not find Old Toby. But you know what they put on Mushrooms in Gondor instead of Bacon?
FRODO
What?
GANDALF
Mutton.
FRODO
Goddamn!
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